Short and Sweet

Talent doesn't mean a thing if you don't have humility, work ethic, and vision.

K.O. Olusola

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The Freedom to Abide

Last year my sister, Dalayna, asked me to join a team of her friends that were starting a unique work.  It's an online magazine called The Pearl Press.  This month is the one year anniversary of the launch that that endeavor.  I am so proud of this group of women who are seeking the face of God and have a desire to be molded into His image.

Last month, I shared this post on their magazine, but I thought I would share it with you today.  I hope it blesses your heart and compels you to abide in Christ and in all He created you to be.

One of the most difficult challenges we will ever be forced to face is a challenge we see everyday.  We stare into her eyes.  We hate many of the things she does.  As a matter of fact, we often tell her how much we hate her for the ignorant decisions she makes.  Does she listen?  Usually not.  Instead, we find her a week or two later right back in the same broken place.

We tried to tell her.  We tried to warn her.  We tried our best to get her to listen.  We flapped our arms and raised our voice.  We even slapped her around just a little bit--not much though--just enough to get her to stop.

She's always doing it:

Over-scheduling.

Over-committing.

Over-eating.

Over-spending.

Over-working.

Oh, but the list goes on.

She doesn't work out enough.

She's a procrastinator.

She talks too much.

She makes herself look like an idiot.

She doesn't spend enough time with her family.

She doesn't cook home meals.

She doesn't invite people over to her house.

She doesn't take vacations.

She doesn't keep her house spotless.

And to top it all off, she drives way too fast and passes over-sized loads on the shoulder.

The worst challenge, the most difficult person we will ever be forced to face, is That Woman we stare at everyday in the mirror.

She's a sly one, That Woman, and far too often we find ourselves in a love/hate relationship with the eyes staring back at us in the morning as we brush our teeth.

I'm not here today writing to compel you to accept That Woman and love her completely as she is.  I think we should all love ourselves.  We should all accept our personality.  We should all accept our flaws, but we also have to remember that we are all on a journey to become more like Christ--to become less like ourselves and more like Him. (click to tweet) 

Paul wrote in Romans 7:15, "I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate."  Sometimes we do live out the actions we hate.  We're human.  We mess up and sometimes a lot.  But it's in this journey, this walk up a long hill, that I really want to write about today.

Last week, I found myself sitting at a table with a group of women at a retreat.  I love all of these women so much.  We have too much fun.  Literally, too much fun.  The retreat center was very large and there were multiple retreats happening at the same location.  We all had separate living quarters, but we shared the dining hall.  One of the other retreats that occurred on the same camp ground was a men's retreat.

We're sitting at this table and in walk the gentlemen.  I'm not the only single woman at the retreat, but the odds were definitely against me.  It's just kind of a joke that most "still single" woman (and especially in the church) have to face is the uh-which-one-do-you-like game.  For the most part, I'm fine with it.  It's just for fun.  Plus, I have my share of celebrity and not celebrity crushes too.  The rouse is usually the same.  I say in a hushed voice, "Maybe table 2, but let me show you a picture of who I'm really after."

It's always great fun.  Everybody always laughs.  By the end of the conversation it's usually very loud.

After the guffawing quieted down I sat back in my seat and look around the table I was sitting at.  It felt like every single eye was on me judging me.

Now, I know they weren't.  I know those woman love me.  I know they value me.  And I love and value them.  But there was something about the stillness of their eyes that made me feel about three inches tall.  And then I said, under my breath, "I just hate when I make myself feel like a fool."

And I do.  I hate that.  I do it a lot, but I hate it.  I hate that action about myself.  But, I'm working on it.  

On this life journey there has to be a level of grace that we extend to ourselves.  We have to give ourself grace grow.  We have to give ourself grace to take the journey.  We're not going to get everything right all the time.  In fact, we're going to get life and this journey wrong most of the time.  Still, we have to give ourself grace to develop into the women of God we are called to be.

We can only live in that grace when we start to accept who we are in Christ and to abide in That Truth.  We have to live in That Truth. (click to tweet)  

I love what Ann Voskamp wrote about the practicing of abiding in Christ.  She wrote:

Abide. Because it's never about your capabilities. When you're in covenant with Christ, it's His responsibility to cover your cracks, to be all your competency and completeness. Inabilities, in Christ, are made all-sufficient, just-right abilities. Abandon worry--and wholly abide.

Jesus said it Himself in John 15:17, "Abide in Me, and I will abide in you. Just as no branch can bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me. I am the vine and you are the branches. The one who abides in Me, and I in him, will bear much fruit. For apart from Me you can do nothing."

There's a freedom that comes from recognizing and accepting that without Christ I can do nothing.  There is equal freedom in recognizing and accepting that in Christ I can do all things.  In the journey, we all have roles to take.  We all have positions to play, but ours is never to judge ourselves or others.  Our role is never to lead.  It's always to rest.  It's always to follow.  It's always to abide.

When we give grace to ourselves and accept That Truth and learn to abide--to rest-- in Christ, it sure does make That Woman easier to live with on this journey of grace and abiding.

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Intentional Encourager

Recently I got the opportunity to participate in a community theater project in Sand Springs, Oklahoma.  It was a lot of fun.  I made many good, good friends. (All that's another story for another time.)  But there is one new friend added to my circle that truly amazes me.  She is absolutely the most thoughtful, most gracious, most intentional person I have ever met.  

She brought gifts and cookies to celebrate each cast members birthday during the production.
She brought gifts for everyone opening night.

She invited us over to her house after one of the performances.

She took time out of her busy, successful professional life to create a game for the cast party unlike any other game.

She invited her entire acting class she teaches and purchased their tickets.

She is completely encouraging while being completely honest.

She perfected the character she portrayed to the highest standard.

Like, seriously, the list goes on and on and on...

I don't think I've ever met a person who lived out Paul's admonishment to the church at Philippi more completely.  "Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others.  Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3).

This lady, only a little younger than myself, puts me to shame.  Humble, thoughtful, detail oriented.  Everyone loves her because she makes everyone love themselves.

The way you make other people feel about themselves is the way they will feel about you.

Tweet: The way you make other people feel about themselves is the way they will feel about you.@danettedillon http://bit.ly/1sbxvSP #liveyourfaith #dayspring

Sitting at my desk now, overwhelmed with emotion and conviction and a little bit of shame, I recognize that I want my life to be marked with intention.  And yet, I remember Paul's words to the church at Rome, "I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it.  Instead, I do what I hate" (Romans 7:15).  So many times I feel like Paul.

I want every single action to be executed with one purpose.  Not for selfish gain or ambition, I want to encourage people.  I want people to believe in themselves.  I want people to see that they have infinite potential.  I want to be able to encourage people to reach the greatness that is possible.

Investing in others takes time.  It takes thought.  It requires a sacrifice of yourself.  But investing in others is always worth the cost.

Tweet: Investing in others takes time, thought, & sacrifice. But investing in others is always worth the cost. @danettedillon http://bit.ly/1sbxvSP #liveyourfaith #dayspring

I've decided to join with DaySpring for the 21 Days of Encouragement.  For the next 21 Days I'm going to intentionally do something to encourage someone else.  DaySpring has so many different resources to help me on my encouragement journey.  You can check them out here. 

I hope that you will join me on these 21 Days of Encouragement, but even if you don't remember that when you encourage others suddenly you find yourself resting in contentment and joy.

Tweet: When you encourage others suddenly you find yourself resting in contentment and joy. @danettedillon http://bit.ly/1sbxvSP #liveyourfaith #dayspring

What are some ways you can encourage others?  I've been told it's all in the details.

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Short & Sweet

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It's amazing the miracles that happen in the darkness.  It's just like little seeds that are planted in the black soil.  We can't see what is happening under the veil of the cold earth.  But in time those little green buds will burst through the blackness and soak up the beautiful rays of light.

Hang on.  There's a miracle in your darkness.

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Self Talk: Three Steps to Change the Inner Dialogue and Over Come Internal Lies

Self talk can be one of our worst obstacles in life.  Self talk are those conversations that happen in our head and those voices that never seem to shut up.  Those voices just go on and on and on. Those voices scream the words of our past experiences and every fear we've ever had straight in our face. And we can't run from them either.  They're inside of us comparing who we actually are with what other people say or have said we are. They contradict what we know is true about ourselves by telling us lies. 

The really crazy part is we are the voice who's lying and comparing and contradicting reality!

Sometimes we just have to tell ourselves to shut up. Not literally, of course, but those inside voices--the negative self talk that runs around in our head.  Tell that voice to shut up. 

And then, after you've stopped listening to all those lies, replace those lies with truth. 

The truth is you're are going to make it. It doesn't matter how far you've fallen or messed up, you can get up and start again. The truth is you can do anything for at least a little while. And if you can do anything for a little while you can do it for as long as it takes. 

Have you seen that episode of the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? You know, the one where she says, "I can do anything ten seconds....You can handle anything for ten seconds."

Obviously, that's a simplistic approach to reality,
but it's still true. If you can make it ten seconds then there's a good chance that you can make it for twenty. And thirty. And forty. And as long as you need to. Don't give up on yourself. 

The truth is you're not alone. No matter how alone you feel there is always someone right there with you. In Deuteronomy 3:16, through Moses, God is confirming to the Jewish nation that He will go with them into the land (Israel) that He promised them. He said this, "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."

So, you're going to make it. You can do anything for as long as you have to. You are not alone. But somehow that negative self talk still comes through. 

How do we get that inner lair to shut up?

1. Replace the negative thought with a truth. 

Our thoughts don't change themselves. We have to purposely change them. Whenever you have a negative thought stop yourself from saying it and immediately speak out loud a truthful statement.  It's important to say it out loud because we need to replace all the negative things we've heard about ourselves. Eventually, we'll start to believe the truth instead of the lie. 

2. Ask for some accountability. 

As much as I wish she would, my sister, Dalayna, will not let me throw myself a pity party. As much as I would like to, she makes me get out of my head and see life as it really is. Sometimes she does get it wrong, but even when her correction is off, her insight does change my perspective. And I need that more than I need almost anything. 

Now, in my sister's case, I never asked her to hold me accountable. She just does that because that's what sisters do. Maybe you don't have a sister who can challenge you to believe the truth. Ask someone else who is positive and has some wisdom. 

One word of caution. When you ask for accountability, don't get upset when it's given to you. You asked for it. 

3. Do the positive things you know you should do even when you don't feel like doing them. 

We run our lives by our feelings. And too often, because we run our life by how we feel, we ending up ruining our lives. It doesn't have to be this way. If you change your thought processes and if you change your language and if you surround yourself with positive influences eventually your positive forward motion will start. But in the meantime, you might have to act on what you know in your head and not how you feel in your heart. 

The war we wage within ourselves is always worse that battle we face in the real world. It's a battle between who we are and who we want to be and our own fear and self doubt. Yes, self talk is a challenge but you can do this. You can do anything for at least a little while. You're not alone. 

Now, go win this fight. 

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Change Starts with Me: 3 Steps to Making the Decision to Change Last + Download

To download this picture as a screen saver simply click the image.

Changing the world starts with changing yourself.  And let's face it.  Changing yourself is the most difficult first step to take.

I have this book.  It's really more like a journal, but it's the home to my goals for the next year.  A lot of the goals are things like pay off debt, lose 20 pounds...you know...they're probably a lot like the goals in your book.  But then there are other goals in there that have to do with changing my character and my attitudes.  Those goals are a lot more difficult to accomplish than paying off debt and losing 20 pounds.

When we look at our life, if we're honest with ourself, we can see the character flaws that need to be changed.  They're those blinding defects in our lives that haunt us.  But changing those glaring flaws are real challenges.  So how do we change them.  If we are to be real world changers we have to change!  We can't stay the same!  Sure, we can throw money at problems.  We can donate our time to a cause that is important to us, but in reality, real lasting change will only begin when we change ourself.

I don't have all the answers because I'm no where near where I want to be, but I'm going to share three steps we can take to get on the road and stay on the road to change.

First, we can't do it ourselves.  It's impossible.

I'm a Christ-follower.  Jesus is the light of my life and without Him and His strength I couldn't begin to stay motivated on this path to life change.  I physically have to make myself spend time in prayer and Bible study.  I have to make myself become more like the principles outlined in His Word.  And I have to abide in my relationship with Him.  He is my source.

Maybe you're not a Christ follower, but you still want to see change and impact change in your community.  I believe that God will still help you in your path.  Ask for help and see what He can do in you and through you.

And even if asking God for help isn't a possibility, seek help from another like-minded individual...someone who wants to change their community.  Hold each other accountable.  This is a journey, after all.  And journeys are much more fun with other people.

Second, we have to be inspired and stay inspired.

As of late my life has been a little crazy, but who's life isn't?  Busy-ness may be the greatest adversity you'll face on the road to life change.  We're too busy to work on ourselves.  But that has to change.

A couple of months ago I decided I was going to really commit myself to voice training.  I'm a good vocalist.  I was a voice major in college.  I've always known that singing is a talent of mine.  What most people don't realize is that even excellent performers and musicians have to practice.  I committed to practicing and to developing that gift even more extensively.

I downloaded my books and music, I downloaded podcasts, and I started rehearsing.  And then life happened.  My life was interrupted and I found myself traveling most weekends.  My week nights were full with life's weekend activities.  It has just been crazy.

But here's the thing, my crazy life is no excuse for not staying inspired.  I know what I'm supposed to do.  I just haven't done it in a couple of weeks.

Right now I feel a little shame because of my lack of commitment.  Which brings me to my third point.  In order to see true life change, we have to be committed at all cost.

I love passionate people.  I love passionate people who can talk for hours about what drives them in life, but what I love more than passionate people is a passionate person that will not give up regardless of the obstacles they face.  That's the kind of person I want to be.  I want to be a person who is passionate about seeing the world changed for the better.  I want to be so committed to my mission that I will fight relentlessly to make the world a better place.

Let me just sum all this up.  If we want to make see change that will last here's what we must do...

1.  Surround yourself with people who will help you meet your goal.

2.  Get inspired and stay inspired.

3.  Be committed at all cost.

If I'm going to be that kind of a person it all starts with change.  Changing the world around me starts with changing me.

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Short & Sweet

Happiness is a place.  You can choose to live there.  Or, you can choose to have a miserable life feeling sorry for yourself and throwing yourself a pity party.

The choice is yours.

For me--for today--I'm choosing to live in that happy place.  It might be difficult, but I'd rather live happy than to live in the darkness of unhappiness.

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Short & Sweet

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

     a time to be born, and a time to die;

     a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

     a time to kill, and a time to heal;

     a time to break down, and a time to build up;

     a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

     a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

     a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

     a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

     a time to seek, and a time to lose;

     a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

     a time to tear, and a time to sew;

     a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

     a time to love, and a time to hate;

     a time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

All trouble will eventually come to an end.  Hang on until it does.

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Short & Sweet: Look Out and Reach Out

Today's Short & Sweet is a little different.  Normally, I'd just share a picture and quote and be done, but when this video came popping up in my Facebook feed, I knew it needed to be shared here.


I think this video illustrates a very real truth.  From time to time, we all need some help.  That's just how life is.  That's how we were designed.  We are designed to need other people.  Even the most self reliant, introverted person needs help.  They just seek out one or two friends.  Other's desire to be surrounded by many people.  Both are fine.  Both work.  But both need relationships and help to succeed.

What's more, we have to recognize when we're needed.  It's so important to look out and to reach out...to keep our head up and looking for opportunities to serve our friends, our family, and our community.

Recently, I finished J.K. Rowling The Casual Vacancy.  I have to tell you, this book moved me.  There is a lot of language in the book--more than I would usually read--but I was so moved by the story.  I don't want to give the book away, but in the story a child dies as a result of a completely avoidable tragic accident.  On his way to certain calamity, the young child passes three adults all of which could have saved the child's life if only they had been paid closer attention.  Instead they were focused on their own circumstances.  Unfortunately, far too ofter we're focused on our own circumstances too.

Today, can I challenge you to help someone.  Look around you, I'm certain you will find a person in your sphere of influence who needs help.  What if you're the only one who even notices?

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Short & Sweet

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Every week, usually on Wednesday, I post an inspirational picture or quote that I found floating around the internet. It's just something short & something sweet.

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Beautiful Blooms

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"And do not let us grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

Galatians 6:9

If you follow me on Instagram you know that every year I anxiously await the return of peony season.  Their blooming season is so short but so glorious.  Almost as soon as they enter the market I'll be there, bag in hand, to collect a dozen or more.

I rush home to fill little vases all over my room and office with the blooms.  Over the next few days I watch them explode into fireworks of color and scent.

I believe my fascination with these flowers started many years ago as I thumbed through the pages of Martha Stewart Living.  The magazine would be full of pictures from her gardens and her parties. They were beautiful.  And I wanted to be just like Martha.  Naturally, only peonies would do.


My neighbor has a peony bush right in his front yard.  He planted for his wife before she passed away.  As Mother's day and the last days of spring approach I watch that plant.  Every year he prunes it's branches back to nothing.  Slowly, day by day, green branches and stocks begin to appear.  It seems like every night a new set of leaves is added and every morning they reach up to the sky longing for it's warm rays to nourish it's growth.

It only takes about two weeks for this bush to grow from nothing.  The next step in the blooming process seems to be the longest.  The bush that grew from nothing in two weeks suddenly reduces it's growing speed.  Storing all the energy this small plant can, it begins, internally, to create blooms.  Invisible to the eye, the blooms begin to grow.  They begin to suck their life from the long woody stocks.  But this growth...it can't be seen or felt or watched.

For weeks, I walk past that bush hoping against all hope to see a single bud, one flower, force itself forward and into bloom.  That's what I hope for...just one look.  But I also know peonies won't bloom--at least not in Tulsa, Oklahoma--for several more weeks.

And then, just when I'm about to give up hope that they will bloom, I see a single white peony burst open.  And then two, three, four.  So many more that I could count.  So many more than I thought possible.

Isn't life like that sometimes? 

It seems like you've seen so much of our hard work pay off...that our dreams are about to come true...and then the waiting starts.  You thought the waiting was over, but it's really just beginning.

In moments of waiting it's far too easy to give up or give in or just move on.  I've felt that way far too many times.

Encourage yourself.  Don't give up.  Know that the waiting will end.  

And when the waiting ends, you'll find all of that dreaming and all of that hard work has rewarded you with beautiful blooms.

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Short & Sweet

"But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words."

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

#thankful4hope

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Short & Sweet

Remember,

God this day unfurled

To everyone

Throughout the world.

Unblemished day,

Bejeweled and pearled--

A gift to you and me.

For each man's a tower

Or just a stone.

Born to climb higher

Or be left alone.

Time is the gift.

Use it with care.

Climb to the heights--

Our dreams flourish there.

      From the personal diary of Joye Kanelakos

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///missed opportunities

Memories are a funny thing. These little pictures into the past can bring so much pain or so much happiness. But one thing is certain, we can stay held captivated in these little masterpieces for hours, maybe even days, if we'd allow ourself.

I had one of those memories today.  It wasn't actually my own experience, but I still remember just as clearly as if it had been...

Oklahomans can be characterized in a few words--three to be exact--God, Country, and football.  So naturally one would think when my sister, Dalayna, came in from the bus announcing the arrival of a famous ball player to her class my parents would have rushed to Wal-Mart to purchase a football.  Instead, they rushed to Wal-Mart and purchased a baseball.

I can only imagine the questioning looks when Dalayna walked up to the Seattle's Seahawks Hall of Famer, Steve Largent and hands him a baseball of all things.   His response?  He snatches up the ball, rolls it in his hand, and signs it...right on the sweet spot.

Over ten years later, that ball is still around somewhere, collecting dust, a testament to a missed opportunity.  Out of curiosity I found myself searching for the price of Steve Largent signed memorabilia.  You know, if Dalayna had taken a football that day instead of a baseball there's a good chance she could have made some money off that thing.  People will pay the most ridiculous prices for things like signed footballs and autographed helmets and original jerseys.  But we don't have a signed football or helmet or jersey.  No, we have a signed baseball.

It's easy to get side tracked in our memories especially the memories of missed opportunities.  Haunted by these pictures discouragement seizes it's opportunity.  Because we're discouraged we lose hope.  And because we lose hope we fail to remember who God is and what he wants us to do and who He's called us to be.  Hopeless, lonely, doubtful...anger just tends to become who we are.

But I challenge us to look past the hopelessness and the loneliness and the self loathing to see the truth.

Psalm 46:10, 11 (AMP) says this, '"Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God..." The Lord of host is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.' (emphasis mine)

Reality is every missed opportunity is gone.  It's not coming back.
Reality is missing opportunities brings us disappointment.  But disappointment can only paralyze us if we let it.
Reality is there's no going back.  There is only moving forward.

But in moving forward I have the assurance that God is with me.  In moving forward I know I have a refuge.  Let it be.  The past is gone.  Let it be and then be still and know that God is fighting for you.  There's no one better to fight for us.  He's the one who works all things for good to those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)

We don't have a signed football or helmet or jersey.  We have a signed baseball.

But I don't know anybody else who has a baseball signed by the Football Hall of Famer, Steve Largent.  Do you?

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///wishing you and yours a Merry Chirstmas

The end of this year is very near, but it doesn't come before we celebrate the most blessed event to come to the earth: the birth of Jesus Christ.

This Christmas season, we wish you the happiest of Christmases.  We look forward to the new year the same as we look to the redemption God brings to us through the sacrifice and resurrection of His Son and our Lord, Jesus.

The new year will bring many changes and many challenges, but it will also bring a blank canvas to be painted on creating a beautiful masterpiece guided by the Father's hand.

Merry Christmas.

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/// short & sweet

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/// i am determined

I am determined to live life in the present
      to act bravely
      to inspire creativity
      to love fiercely.

I am determined to change myself so I can change others
      to move in justice
      to respond to opposition with grace
      to give mercy.

I am determined to be my greatest, not for my own accolades, but for the glory of God.

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short & sweet

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This really challenged me today.

Sometimes--most times--it seems like I'm going no where.   That I'm just stuck, but that just simply is not true.  I'm moving forward.

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Short & Sweet

This quote has it's roots in a famous quote by Anna Gould.  She said, "Be beautiful if you can, wise if you want to, but be respected-that is essential."  While I don't completely disagree with Ms. Gould she did get some things wrong.  You can only earn respect and respect is earned through being gracious.

Take time today to defend the defenseless...to stand against injustice.  Use every gift in your arsenal, wisdom, wit, and beauty, but always remember--never, ever forget--that respect is earned.  It's earned when you are full of grace.

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Anything can happen to a person who believes what God believes about them.

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